wow.. this is crazy. right now i’m listening to florence and the machine in japan at the halfway point. i’m coming back to america in december around my birthday and i actually don’t really want to go back. i mean sure i do sometimes but when i look at the big picture i really don’t want to leave. everybody is so nice here even if i am a foreigner. i haven’t had a bad experience yet. i could really see myself living here once i get more of the language down.
but thats sort of the problem… i mean school is really fun but it’s exhausting having different teachers every single day. i really love everything about this place.
i also want to travel to other places really badly though.. so i can’t do that if i stay here forever. i guess i have to decide soon what i want to do with my life, which is a lot scarier than it actually seems. i’ve always been so slow at life, figuring what it actually means to socialize and hitting my breaking point a little farther each time. i still have no idea what i’m doing, i never have but i don’t really think that anyone else really knows either. if you meet someone who does know what they’re doing, please let me meet them. i’d like some answers.
i suppose that part of the reason why i’m writing so much tonight is that i’m in a bit of a melancholy mood. but mostly, i think it’s because i did it. i am doing it. i will do it for a little while longer, and i’m still here.