halfway point

wow.. this is crazy. right now i’m listening to florence and the machine in japan at the halfway point. i’m coming back to america in december around my birthday and i actually don’t really want to go back. i mean sure i do sometimes but when i look at the big picture i really don’t want to leave. everybody is so nice here   even if i am a foreigner. i haven’t had a bad experience yet. i could really see myself living here once i get more of the language down. 


but thats sort of the problem… i mean school is really fun but it’s exhausting having different teachers every single day. i really love everything about this place. 


i also want to travel to other places really badly though.. so i can’t do that if i stay here forever. i guess i have to decide soon what i want to do with my life, which is a lot scarier than it actually seems. i’ve always been so slow at life, figuring what it actually means to socialize and hitting my breaking point a little farther each time. i still have no idea what i’m doing, i never have but i don’t really think that anyone else really knows either. if you meet someone who does know what they’re doing, please let me meet them. i’d like some answers. 


i suppose that part of the reason why i’m writing so much tonight is that i’m in a bit of a melancholy mood. but mostly, i think it’s because i did it. i am doing it.  i will do it for a little while longer, and i’m still here. 


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